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Modern Brunch: A Guide

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Brunch is by far my favorite part of the weekend. It’s a perfect 
time to decompress and spend time with the friends you may have missed throughout the week. But lately I have been becoming more and more aware of people who do not share my love for this meal. People who not only are non-participants in this Sunday tradition but, go so far as to refuse using the word “brunch.” They would much rather divorce this portmanteau, using either root word, depending on the time of day in order to maintain a traditional time structure for meals.  But America’s brunch culture has been around for quite a long time, even before housewives needed an excuse to get drunk off of champagne at 10am, and it is here to stay. So for the few of you who still possess a negative outlook on America’s favorite weekend meal here is your guide to understanding this beloved Sunday tradition from a millennial’s perspective.

 

   Brunch as a Social Event: Brunch is definitely something you don’t do alone. Your party may be anywhere between 2 to  20+ depending on the circumstances.  If the work week has been all consuming this is the perfect time to spend some quality time with the people you care about most.

 

   Rehashing the Details of the Previous Week: It’s the important time you and your bestie get to spend telling each other of all the interesting social encounters you had over the weekend and/or all the things you accomplished (or maybe didn’t) during your work week. Did someone get a promotion? A perfect opportunity to celebrate with brunch. Did that man your friends been “Netflix and chilling” with for over a month finally take her out for a real date? Cheers to that.

 

   Hangover Remedy:  If you were out until late on Saturday you may need a little pick me up and what’s better than poached egg covered in Hollandaise sauce to do just that. Or country style biscuits and gravy, or that deliciously greasy hamburger topped with a fried egg and we can’t forget the timeless classic of fried chicken with a side of lobster mac. The list goes on and on but the point is after brunch you are almost guaranteed to be feeling like a different person, one who did not just roll out of bed with all of their makeup still plastered on their face. Let’s take a moment for a gentle remember it’s not a walk of shame if you stop for brunch on the way.

 

   Excuse to Wear Your New Sundress and Sunglasses: In the summertime it’s all about the sundresses and it’s hard to resist when you find that perfect one, or two or ten depending on your shopping habits.  Unfortunately if you are a creature of the night like most of the people I know you don’t get as many opportunities to wear them as you may have originally hoped. Don’t despair; there is always brunch to save the day. You can proudly sport all of your open-back, overly complicated strapped, flowing maxi while sipping that artisan smoked watermelon-whatever mimosa. Oh, and don’t forget your oversized sunglasses. The bigger the better on Sunday mornings, concealer can only do so much for that dehydrated complexion.

 

   A Reason to Cheat on Your Diet: Like you really need to search hard for a reason to cheat on your diet. But if you are one for making excuses brunch is the perfect one. No one wants to eat plain yogurt with approximately 3 pieces of granola when they are out to brunch with their friends.  No one really wants to eat plain yogurt and granola anyway but sometimes you got to work for that summer body.  Just try and forget about it during brunch.  No one wants to hear about your diet anyway.

 

   Alcohol: Bloody Mary’s and Mimosas: Need I say more? It is not brunch if there is no alcohol in your juicemimosa

 

    Large Time Frame: If you are anything like us, you take your sweet ass time getting somewhere. You forgot you needed to put gas in your car and you may be a little too bloated for your favorite high-waisted/crop top duo and you need to change 32X in a row. No matter, it is very hard to miss brunch. You have most of the morning into the late afternoon to show up. It’s a meal you can sit down and enjoy for hours depending on whether or not you took the plunge and ordered the endless mimosas they have on special, we hope you did. 

 

    New Reason’s to Love Old Restaurants and a Good Reason to Try a New One: The unique brunch menu may be a chef’s nightmare after a busy Saturday night but we sure do appreciate them for it. Hitting up your favorite Friday night dinner joint in a new light helps you develop a whole new admiration for their incredibly diverse menu and attentive wait staff. Or maybe you’ve been dying to try out that fusion bistro but never got a chance to enjoy their evening-faire. Collecting the latest and greatest brunch restaurants is a past time to not only enjoy but, to share, over alcohol, with your group of friends and family.d1d9beea965128e5371a515d30319d6f

 

So maybe brunch isn’t for everyone.  Which is perfectly fine, but the existence is very real and it serves its purpose every Sunday between the time frames of 10AM to 3PM.  Maybe we will see you there.

Jill

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6 responses to “Modern Brunch: A Guide”

  1. Mother says:

    Let’s do brunch sometime:)

  2. MoMo says:

    Good job Jill …wish we were closer to do Brunch

  3. kyla says:

    Your turn to host lady ?

  4. AXH says:

    It was a hot spring day in the Florida we knew back in 1995. Ms. Mitchell’s perfume of hairspray was especially strong that day. I remember being anxious the morning when I walked into class. I knew we were not going to be learning how to count, gluing together popsicle sticks to show our parents, or using alliterative stories to determine the sound a particular letter makes. Today we were going to make Alligator Pie.

    What is Alligator Pie, you ask? Ms. Mitchell said it best: “Alligator pie is when you squeeze the guts out of an alligator and put it into a pie dish.”

    She was talking about it for days. I thought it was a savage concept. How could somebody eat the guts of an innocent animal in the form of a desert?! Even worse, she taught us all a song about Alligator Pie that I still remember to this day:

    Alligator Pie. Alligator Pie.
    If I don’t get some
    I think I’m gonna die.
    You can take away the green grass
    And take away the sky.
    But don’t take away my Alligator Pie.

    We were waiting for Ms. Mitchell’s boyfriend of the week, who was a zookeeper, to come by with the sacrafice. I always thought that was weird– werent’ zookeepers sworn to uphold ethics in the Animal Kingdom?

    While we were waiting for him to show up, Ms. Mitchell warned us not to look outside. The alligator was going to be a big, strong animal and could eat us. She would go outside with her boyfriend and perform the barbaric ritual to the poor amphibian.

    We heard a honk. It was Ms. Mitchell’s boyfriend. Everybody rushed to the door to see the gator, I stayed behind. Ms. Mitchell shooed everybody away from the door and walked outside. She stayed out there for a few minutes before coming back in.

    I remember being disgusted at the trophy she returned with. She had a bowl filled with the (alleged) alligator guts. It looked thick, lime green, and almost like the consistency of pudding. I nearly threw up seeing it.

    She poured the alligator guts into pie crusts, let them stand, and served us the pie at the end of the day. I did not eat the pie. There was no way I was going to condone such a savage action. I was put into time out for voicing my opinion on the matter. I spent my time in solitude watching others having fun with their green alligator guts. I held my ground: I would much rather be in jail than have to partake in their barbaric ritual.

    Days later the truth came out. There was never an alligator. It was all vanilla pudding that was dyed green.

    In retrospect, I should have known this. I could have had a delicious pudding/pie combination that my five-year-old self would have loved. However I chose to be an animal rights activist and was punished for doing so. Even if I went puddingless that day, I felt like a strong message was sent that day to everybody, but was heard by nobody.

    The relevance to this post: I look back on Alligator Pie and think to myself “I could’ve eaten that.” But am I glad I didn’t eat it? You betcha.

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