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So, Why Are You Still Single?

As the holidays begin to close in on us and make us want to do this:

There will begin to be a lot of reflection and questions that you ask yourself. Such as, “Did I reach my fitness goals this year?” (Nope) or “Did I get that promotion that I was going after?” (Hopefully you can say yes to this.) As you and others scrutinize the outcome of your year, there may be some questions from family members or old high school friends that you are bound to run into this “Drinksgiving” My absolute favorite is:

So, why are you still single?

OK, before you make the real life version of this face: -______-

Or be totally rude and pull a Ralphie

Stop, breathe and reason before you decide to kick that happily married smug girl with three kids from high school in the shins.

Don’t think of it as a “Still”

It’s not like you’ve been this way all your life. You are not a nun or a monk that took a vow of celibacy since the age of 3. You found someone that you can tolerate for an extended period of time before (always my biggest issue), it will happen again.

You are a lot pickier than you used to be

In the early stages of your 20s all you probably really cared about is that that person was attractive, could sometimes pay for your drinks, and wasn’t a complete idiot. Nowadays what I look for is ambition, sense of humor, and looks (lets face it, that’s important) in that order. Opening the door is nice too.

You chose to concentrate on yourself instead of a relationship

This is something that I have struggled with myself. Sometimes when you are all twitter-pated (or miserable) with a relationship you have a tendency to stop thinking about what YOU want because you have a whole other person to consider into the equation, and quite frankly I’m not very good at math. Best thing about being single? Yeah, you don’t have to do that. Want to do a big move across country, go study the mating habits of dung beetles in Borneo? (Hey, no judgement.) You can do that without consulting with a S.O., spouse, or child.

You don’t want to settle

This sort of goes hand in hand with being picky. So you find someone who has all the qualities that you are looking for, but it just isn’t THERE. Why waste your time on someone that you just have lukewarm feelings for? No one REALLY likes lukewarm showers or lukewarm feelings.

This person is hitting on you

Whoever is asking this question (assuming they are not there with their S.O., husband/wife, or that they are not that annoyingly smug girl that we mentioned earlier) is probably hitting on you. Take it as a compliment, say something witty and thoughtful, and just walk away.

So now please excuse us as we prepare for turkey day (we are having fried turkey, be jealous) and get ourselves mentally ready for the high school reunion that is bound to happen tonight at the seedy neighborhood bar.

PS, if none of the above reasons satisfy that nosy high school frenemy or family member just pull up this culturally relevant video:


caitlin

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