Or as Lana would say, ‘Summertime Sadness’. But we aren’t talking about people, no unrequited love over here, we are talking about seasons. We are talking about soft serve and salty hair. We are talking about lounging by the pool with a bottle of tequila squirreled away in your purse. The fall of sun dresses and cut offs and the rise of the basic bitches. Fortunately, for the few who reside in the Sunshine State the fall season is short. It comes with its ups (who doesn’t love a good all black ensemble) but it leaves us wanting more (breaking your personal record of how long you can balance your drink on a paddle board). I would trade tights for a bikini any day but, don’t despair, if you aren’t quite ready to give up your (real) favorite season just yet we have a few tips for you that will keep you summertime strong all year round.
Summertime Playlists: Nothing sets the mood quite like a handcrafted selection of the finest summertime jamz. All the classic summertime hits like ‘Lean On’, ‘Cheerleader’ and ‘Summer Girls’ … because who doesn’t like girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch. Jk that would be everyone.
Beach Waves and Braids: Just because it’s 20˚ outside does not mean you can’t break out your sea salt spray. Don’t forget how to do that braided crown it took you three weeks to master just because you have to wear four layers over your long johns. Seriously, do it up. Break out your barrel curling iron. Match your fishtails with a classic braid or those cute twists (that seem to come undone immediately after pinning them to my hair).
Pops of Color: I’m the first to admit I go a little overboard with the dark colors. Living in Florida gives you a very short time frame where wearing all black is acceptable and families don’t cross the street a block in front of you to avoid the weird girl who looked like she just stepped out of a Marilyn Manson music video. If you start crossing the boundary between badass ninja superspy and industrial metal superstar you can always accent your outfits with pops of eye-catching bright colors. Bright red is so in this year, but don’t take it from me, you can learn more about fall fashion from our in-house expert.
Jacuzzi: One water activity that is actually preferred in the colder months. Jacuzzi’s can be that perfect reminder of what your life once was before you became a housebound recluse. Getting out can be a little tricky though, my preferred technique is grabbing a towel and running like a bat out of hell to the closest heated establishment.
For the optimistic few out there I guess I can admit there are some things I do admire about this season. And no, it’s not the temperature drop or watching all the leaves of your favorite trees die slowly. More or less it’s Halloween, because who doesn’t love dressing up and scaring little children and I suppose pumpkin flavored things taste pretty good…
For further evidence of why fall is extremely overrated check out Matt Bellassai’s testimonial. Seriously.