What Your Taste In Christmas Music Says About You
It’s the Holiday season and you are surrounded by everything Christmas. Even living in a state that hasn’t seen more than flurries in you know, ever, we still deck the halls in boughs of hollies. Hell, we even have snow makers for the young’uns (and who says Florida isn’t ‘technically’ southern). Unless you are a major Scrooge, you’re gonna listen to Christmas music. Honestly, you’re not gonna have much of a choice seeing as its been playing in all shopping centers, restaurants, and maybe even at your place of employment since before Thanksgiving.
Your Frosty the Snowmans, Dashing Through the Snow, Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer. Think Hallmark store the beginning of November. You’ve been doing this Christmas thing for a long time and it doesn’t feel like the holidays until you’ve watched Arthur Rankin Jr.’s filmography in its entirety. You aren’t a fan of change and you have been following the same holiday traditions since before you can remember. You are a creature of habit and you don’t see anything wrong with that. We aren’t here to tell you to do anything different, and maybe one day you’ll perfect those Christmas cookies your grandma use to make.
Frank Sinatra Christmas
Dean Martin, Rosemary Clooney, Bing Crosby and anything else that reminds you of Time Square in the 1950’s, or at least what you think Time Square was like in the 50’s. Holidays are best spent with snifters of brandy, a few hand rolled cigarettes and good company around a cozy fire place. You love the sound of big band music and you don’t mind Ol’ Blue Eyes serenading you into an eggnog euphoria. You probably even brought your own flask to spike your previously spiked beverages. It’s the holiday’s after all, why not live to excess.
O’ Holy Night
‘O Come O Come Emmanuel’, ‘Silent Night’, ‘Hark the Herald Angels Sing’… etc. and so forth. You are a fan of the religious holiday classics. You will be found every Sunday in your churches choir singing your heart out to O’ Come All Ye Faithful and reminding everyone you know what Christmas is really about. You are the head of your companies holiday toy drive and you will probably be volunteering at the soup kitchen this Christmas Eve. More power to you. Someone’s got to do it, I’m just glad it’s not me. (This doesn’t automatically send me to the naughty list, does it?)
Michael Buble, Mariah Carey, Jessica Simpson, anything that has been on the top 40’s list at least once in the past decade. You grew up listening to the old holiday classics, but you never really got into them the way you got into your favorite pop artist singing the same song except an octave higher and put through an auto-tuner. You’ll be seen at your local Starbucks sipping whatever holiday flavored latte they have to offer, sporting your favorite snowflake accessories. You’ve worn Ugg boots and a mini skirt at least once in your life and you can recite Legally Blonde from memory (who couldn’t?).
A Very She and Him’s Christmas comes to mind, or that one random Christmas song from The Kinks. You are far from a traditional person and you like to stand out from the crowd. Your taste of music definitely reflects that. You’re not gonna listen to any of that mainstream Christmas music that they play on the radio, you’ve had the same handcrafted christmas playlist that you acquired from LimeWire circa 2005 saved on your Spotify. You’ll be secretly playing that alone in your room hoping you didn’t forget to enable a private listening session.
You’re a jokester, the life of a party and it it’s not truely Christmas until you put a little Dominik the Italian Christmas Donkey on the stereo. I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas is another crowd pleaser, that you are not going to be missing out on. You’re the queen of the ugly christmas sweater, and you should be. You’ve been searching Ebay for the perfect one since February. People tend to flock by your side in awkward situations, knowing that you’ll be there to provide comedic relief. Just don’t try too hard.
No Christmas Music
You’re the Scrooge of all Scrooge’s. This time of year brings about a great big guttural B’ah Humbug and you don’t care who hears it. It’s not that you necessarily hate the season you could just go without it every year. Maybe once a decade would be good?
For all of those who are over this years flood of Christmas music, you don’t have to much time left. Just grin and bear it, and be happy you won’t have to think of it again for another 9 months (10 if you avoid all shopping malls).
Does this ending give anyone else deja vu?